Intro: let’s get real about wellness

Ah, wellness. So often sold in shades of beige, with a side of shame and a $90 jade egg. But for many of us, especially if you're neurodivergent, queer, non-monogamous or all of the above, wellness isn’t found in a green smoothie. It’s found in feeling safe in your body. In reclaiming joy. In choosing pleasure on your own terms.

And that’s where self-pleasure comes in.

Self-pleasure is self-care. It’s a way to check in with yourself. To reconnect with sensation. To practice consent with the most important person in your life (you). But the tools we use matter. Because not every sex toy company understands the nuance of trauma-informed design, identity-affirming experiences or what it's like to navigate the world in a neurospicy brain.

So today, we're curating a toolkit. Not one that shouts “pink glitter and giggles”—but one that whispers, “you are safe, worthy, and powerful.” And obviously, we’re including some art, because we’re OhPosies and we believe pleasure can be beautifully loud.

Safety matters: tools designed with care

Self-pleasure should feel good, not overwhelming, performative or like it came from a discount bin labeled “one vibe fits all.” For those of us with sensory sensitivities, trauma histories or who just don’t vibe with the mainstream, safety is the baseline not the bonus.

Enters Knude Society: A UK, female-founded brand that focuses on trauma-informed pleasure tools. Their minimalist aesthetic, body-safe silicone, and educational resources feel more like a wellness practice than a neon rave. The Gwen clitoral vibe, for example, is both beautiful and deeply considered. It's perfect for solo care or for sharing with your polycule.

Explore Knude’s best sellers here - it’s clean, calm, and built with actual care in mind.

Identity affirmation: tools that reflect you

We don’t all experience touch the same way. Or gender. Or desire. The right tools don’t assume who you are, they reflect back the best parts of you. If you’ve ever felt erased in wellness marketing, we see you. And we brought back-up.

Kandid is a queer-owned, UK-based brand making identity-centered intimacy tools that support neurodiverse, gender-expansive bodies. Their designs are gender-neutral, body-safe and speak to folks looking for affirmation, not assumptions. Whether you’re exploring sensation or navigating sensory-friendly pleasure, Kandid is quietly doing the work.

Check out Kandid’s inclusive collection here, your brain and body will thank you.

Joy is political: pleasure without shame

Pleasure doesn’t need to be quiet, minimal or Instagram-neutral. It can be bold. Loud. Joyfully queer. That’s part of why self-pleasure is so powerful; it’s a reminder that your joy is yours. Not something to be hidden or sanitized.

For those who want their toolkit with more color and comic-book sass, say hello to SheVibe: A feminist-forward, delightfully in-your-face brand offering a vast selection of toys, inclusive imagery and original queer-positive art. Their mission? Make you feel powerful in your pleasure, without judgment or pastel nonsense. Plus, their support of diverse body types, kink and LGBTQ+ experiences makes them a perfect fit for the pleasure-positive and kink corner of OhPosies Collective. We're in love.

Shop SheVibe’s colorful rebellion here and build a toolkit that screams “this is mine.”

Want to pair it with something you can wear or hang on your wall? Our pleasure-positive collection is basically SheVibe’s cool cousin who went to art school and came out poly.

You might also vibe with our neurodiversity & humor collection, because sex-positive doesn’t have to mean serious.

Connection beyond one: community, queerness & love beyond limits

Sometimes self-pleasure leads to shared pleasure. And sometimes it’s just part of being more present with yourself. Either way, your toolkit can be an extension of your values: joy, care, consent, curiosity.

So whether you're flying solo, navigating ethical non-monogamy or just tired of pretending intimacy isn't political, you're welcome here.

Need art that gets your relationships too? Try our non-monogamy & polyamory collection or our queer & LGBTQ+ prints for pieces that say what Hallmark won’t.

Final thoughts: curate with intention, explore with joy

Your pleasure toolkit doesn’t have to be curated overnight or ever look like anyone else’s. Maybe it starts with a toy that actually listens to your needs. Maybe it’s a print on your wall that says “my joy matters.” Maybe it’s this post.

Whatever it is: let it be yours. Intentional. Empowering. Beautifully unboring.

Explore our other articles, sign up for our newsletter or browse our art that honors sex-positivity, relationship diversity, neurodivergence and the gorgeous mess of being a full human.

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FAQs

Q: Is self-pleasure really a form of wellness?
A: 100%. When it’s done with care, intention and tools that honor your needs, self-pleasure can support stress relief, body autonomy, emotional regulation, and even sleep. For many of us, it’s more effective than yoga and less effort than therapy.

Q: What makes a pleasure brand “ethical”?
A: Ethics in pleasure means things like trauma-informed design, inclusive imagery, gender-affirming language, sustainable packaging and prioritizing body-safe materials. It also means listening to communities, especially queer, neurodivergent and non-normative voices.

Q: Do I have to be queer or poly to use these tools?
A: Not at all. These tools are made to center everyone, but they’re especially affirming for folks who haven’t seen themselves reflected in mainstream wellness. So whether you’re solo-curious or a seasoned pleasure nerd, this toolkit is for you.

 

Affiliate & values disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. We only recommend brands that align with OhPosies' values: inclusive, trauma-informed, queer-owned, neurodivergent-affirming and pleasure-positive. Your support helps keep our work sustainable, ethical and as cheeky as ever.